May contain adult content....sorry kiddos!
Subject: WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb.
weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there
stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year
old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike
running shoes and a sign around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the
weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can
catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought, he takes off after her.
A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally
gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four
days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day,
he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has
lost 10 lbs., as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20
pound! program m. The next day there's a knock at the
door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful,
sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is
wearing nothi ng but Reebok running shoes and a sign
around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can
have me".
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This
girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but
no such luck. So for the next four days, the same
routine happens with him gradually getting in better
and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs
himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20
lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and
calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound
program.
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the
phone. "This is our most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," he rep! lies. " I haven't felt this good
in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door and when
he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing
there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a
sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you,
your ass is mine."
He lost 63 pounds that week.
Subject: Rubber Gloves
Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves, you're going to smile when you think of this:
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.
"No, I don't," she replied.
"Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size."
She didn't crack a smile.
"Oh, well. I tried," he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" he asked
"I was just envisioning how condoms are made!"
Gotta watch those little old ladies! Their minds are always working!
WoW! those were great. Thanks for sharing!
Posted by: alex | 25 February 2008 at 11:15 PM
These are awesome... just what I needed after a long monday. Thanks!
Posted by: Absolutely Bananas | 25 February 2008 at 08:23 PM
Oy! I'm just shaking my head because if I laugh out loud, people are going to stare. Thanks for the laughs!
Posted by: Burgh Baby's Mom | 25 February 2008 at 01:11 PM