I opened my email this morning and found this little wonder in my in-box from my brother-in-law. At first I thought it was just another stupid men are better than women joke (he knows to send me these rather than tell it in person as I am sure he values the "jewels") but it was something better. Something I think deserves a little more thought.
These "ponderings" are kind of along the lines of, um, let's say....the Noah's Ark story. You know, the one about the guy who God came too and was told to build an Ark cause it was gonna rain for forty days and forty nights and blah blah blah but at the end the poor man found out he was to take two of every animal and load in onto this boat to keep life going. (Take a breath, it was a long one I know).
So, my thoughts on this.....why oh why of all things holy did he not squash those two mosquito's? Or ticks, or lice for that matter. Did we really need to save the cockroaches?
Now that you are catching my drift....let's get started......
Here is the first one: Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
My thoughts? Because panties are meant to cover up two private areas (or 4 if your a man who happens to enjoy wearing women's undies) hence the plural use of the word panties. So I can totally agree with that. But, since a bra was invented by a man, and men do not understand that "breasts" are actually two body parts, the word was always thought of as being singular. Now, lets totally blow this thing out of the water, m'kay? When a man is referring to the upper region of a woman, he rarely refers to just one "boob" or "breast", right? Doesn't it usually go something like this, "Hey, nice tits!" Notice the s at the end of the word "tits". That's plural, correct? But, I guess we aren't talking about the singular use of the word "boobs" as we are the word "bra". So my best guess is that although there are two body parts, and two cups those said body parts are smashed into everyday, the contraption is really just one unit, hence the singular use of the word bra.
Sorry ladies...I tried but we live in a man's world, until we can get Hillary in that is.
Let's go for another: If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
My thoughts? Now this is an easy one.....cause Jimmy is actually "doing" crack. See, it's kinda like that song, Puff the Magic Dragon. If you still believe in dragons, or you are under the age of 18, please cover your eyes, this is not meant for you. Okay, if you are still with me then I am about to burst your bubble. The song is really about smoking dope. There is no dragon who lives by the sea. Just one big doobie being passed around among the band who were too high to come up with some better lyrics.
What do you say, one more?
If you must: Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad
at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out
the window?
My thoughts? Who cares. All I know is that when a toddler sticks their finger in the back hole the poor dog screams like a little girl.
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