Labor....and lack there of.....

Thanks Margie for the tag! 
Here goes mine......

My 1st Baby

1. Were you married at the time?    At the time of what?  Conception?  Delivery?  At delivery yes, but barely.  Let's just say finding a pregnant wedding gown is not that easy.  At least we were engaged and had been for a while....I earn brownie points for that, right?

2. What were your reactions when you found out you were pregnant?  What the crap?!?!?  Well, not that bad but close.  Again, refer to #1.....it's really really hard!

3. How old were you?  Old enough to know what causes pregnancy.  But if you NEED an exact number, 27. 

4. How did you find out you were pregnant?   Let's just say I am regular....as in I know the exact TIME.  When 11am rolled around, I knew.

5. Who did you tell first?  The neighbors, as I stood screaming out an open window in the bathroom.  Then of course my soon to be husband who would soon be without certain anatomy.

6. Did you want to find out the sex?  Yes.  After I came to terms, I needed to plan EVERYTHING.  And if my memory serves me correctly, I HAD TO HAVE the crib RIGHT THEN AND THERE and made my POOR FATHER go get it IN THE POURING RAIN which promptly DESTROYED the box and made it DIFFICULT to carry in house. 

7. Due date? June 21st.

8. Did you deliver early or late?  Early, by three days.  Interesting tidbit:  Baby was born on Father's Day weekend.  We spent that time watching a marathon of Orange County Choppers in the hospital.

9. Did you have morning sickness?   One solid week, ending with the world's worst migraine.  *as I duck from the bullets flying*

10. What did you crave? Anything red.  Spaghetti, tomato soup, plain tomatoes, cherry soda, cherry candy, hot sauce, really just anything that was red.  I can remember after that week of morning sickness *ducking again* when I said to Dave, "Okay.  I'm ready to eat now and I'll have a buffalo chicken steak. Make that 2 buffalo chicken steaks.  And I ate them.  Oh, yea....pb&j sandwiches.  Some nights I would eat 3 or 4 at a time.  Oh and cereal.  Alphabet cereal in a serving bowl.

11. Who irritated you the most?  Everyone.

12. What was your first child's sex? Girl   

13. How many pounds did you gain throughout the pregnancy?  I think between 25-30.  BUT, the day after she was born I weighed myself in the hospital and screamed "What the f*k, Dave.  I STILL weigh the same as before the baby was born!  I didn't even lose the baby!" 
And if I hadn't known better, I would swear I was carrying that baby on my butt!

14. Did you have any complications during your pregnancy?  *raising my hand* "Excuse me, I am going to need more paper." 
Lets summarize here.......1.)  baby breech the entire time dancing on my bladder.  2.)  low fluid causing weekly non-stress tests, no make that 2 times a week.  3.)  every other week ultrasounds to monitor growth.  4.)  baby stuck in position.  At one time she didn't have enough fluid to move around any more.  c-section scheduled early. 
Let's just say I lived in the hospital without actually living there.

15. Where did you give birth?  In the hospital.

16. How many hours were you in labor?  0 hours.  I have no idea what labor feels like *ducking*  Damn, aren't you out of bullets yet.  No don't reload.  *ducking* 

17. Who drove you to the hospital?  Husband.  Yes, he was my husband by then okay. 

18. Who watched?  Not only did Dave get to watch, but the doctor gave him an anatomy lesson with my organs during surgery.  I guess they weren't too worried about the fact that I was freaking out on the table.  What's that you're giving me?  Oh ahhhhh, never mind....the pretty colors. 

19. Was it vaginal or c-section?  C-section. 

20. Did you take medicine to ease the pain?  Lets just say they cut me off.  At least from the shots they were giving me in the butt.  Then, just Motrin.

21. How much did your child weigh?  5lbs. 5oz.   

22. What did you name him/her?  After my Dad.  No, that's not her name.  What do you think, I'm a celebrity or something.  Really, you want to know her name. Okay, you asked for it. Crimson Applegoat.
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha  I feel a little like Brangelina right now.

23. How old is your first born today?  4

Phew.....done.  Margie, when is the second kid getting one?               

 

Comments

[Katia / Crazy For Trying]

Great answers! I love reading birth stories -- mostly because I don't have to deal with the aftermath (i.e. child)

[Lisa]

Good post. There is just something so fascinating about birth stories. Or maybe it's just me. Hey, maybe that's why I had six!

[Debbie]

This is screaming funny! Loved it. Especially the part about weighing the same after the birth. Oh, they are sneaky about what they don't tell us, aren't they?

[Amy Amy Bo Bamey]

Hi Val, Just wanted to let you know you were chosen as one of the 3 for my Pay It Forward. I have comment moderation on so if you can leave me a comment with your address so I can get you out a surprise that would be great. Check out my blog for more info.