Our Very Own Ralphy!

I know.  Christmas is over, but it pertains to the story....really.

Check out this famous scene first. Story to immediately follow.

It's Monday.  And as we all know, Monday can suck.  But on this particular Monday, I was actually in a good mood. 
As I begin my evening commute home, I call Dave to find out who has the good fortune to pick up the kids.

"Hey!" I say all cheery.
"Hey." he mumbles.  My mood is immediately taken down a notch.
"Did you get the kids?"
"Uh-huh.  I'll talk to you about THAT when you get home." he yells. Only its more of a whisper yell.  Like, I know he is yelling, but he is trying not to raise his voice.
"Why?  What happened"  Now I'm worried, and he totally ruined my good mood.
"I said I will talk to you when you get home." he seethed, "I am so embarassed." 
"Just tell me now, that way I can scream all the way home and be done with it."
"Fine!" he grumbles, "Apparently SOMEONE decided today was the day she was going to try out a new word."

Uh-oh.  Ole potty mouth is at it again.

"Okay.  Okay.  I will talk to you about it when I get there." I told him.
"I am so glad you did the pick-up today!" then I quickly hung up to cover my giggles.

As I pulled into the driveway, he met me outside.

"So what happened?" I asked stepping out of the car.
"Well, as I walked into school tonight, Chachi's teacher pulled me aside.  She very calmly informed me that OUR daughter said the four letter F word.  For no reason, just said it.   She was talked to and warned that if it ever happened again, she would be in a lot of trouble."
"Shit.  Shit.  Double shit."
"Hey, watch your mouth.  This is what got us in the mess in the first place." he reminded me.
"Oh yea.  Like it's me 'Mr. I drive a big truck and talk like one'."
"Alright, we don't have time to play the blame game here, what are we gonna do about this?" he asked.
"Well, it has to be something memorable.  Something that will hit hard.  We need her to know that you may get off easy at school, but coming home is gonna be hell." 
"Aren't you being a little harsh?  She's 4!"
"Yea.  4 with a trucker mouth!"
"Okay, I'm in.  What do you have in mind?"
"I say, take her television away.  She covets that thing.  Follow my lead."

With Dave walking behind me, we calmly walked into the house. 

"Hi Mommy!  Hi Mommy!" she came squelling like nothing was amiss.
"Hi Chach." as I knelt down and made eye contact and said,  "I want you to go to your room and wait for Mommy and Daddy to talk to you.", in my best authorative voice.
"But, the teacher said I just get a warning." she quickly answered knowing exactly why we wanted to talk with her.
"That may be, but at home it's a different story."  

A few minutes later, we met her on the bed. 

"I just want you to know that Mommy and Daddy are very dissapointed in you." I began as she nodded her head.
"We cannot believe that you would chose such a naughty word.  And unfortunately you are going to have to suffer the consequences."
More nodding.
"Daddy is going to take you television away."
Crying begins as Dave jumps in.
"MOMMY AND DADDY are taking your television away." he says as he gives me the "why did you sell me out" look. 
"Yes.  Mommy and Daddy." I reiterate reluctantly. 
Full on sobbing now.
"If Ms. Teacher tells us she hasn't had any more problems with you, then you can get your television back." 

With Dave carrying the television and me following behind, Chachi began to yell, "Look at what you made me do!  All these tears!  Look at what you did to me!"
Oh, my potty mouth drama queen. 

Can you believe it!  She's 4!  And in Catholic school, which is even worse!  She just had to say THAT word.  It couldn't be shit, or hell or even damn it which is what she normally slips out with.  I mean, come on, it was just this summer when she asked the neighbor at a birthday party, "When are you going to serve that god damn cake".  Or how about last week when she told my Mom "to move her fat ass". 

Now we wait.  We wait and see if our punishment worked.  Because if it didn't, then we're screwed.  Oh, sorry, trying to clean up my language around here.  We are scrooged.  Yea, that's better, scrooged.

Comments

[Mandy@Mommy Cracked]

LMAO!! Trust me, almost every child at some point offers up these gems at school. My mom likes to remind me of the time I came home from first grade and innocently asked what a mother**cker was!!! LOL!!

[debbie]

We always sell dad out. That's what we do.
How's the language cleanup coming?

[Chris]

LMA... I mean... laughing my behind off. I almost piddled when I read "Daddy's taking your tv"