STINKY JOHN JONES

Runaway

Sometimes when the kids ask where I am going as I walk out the door with my purse and keys in hand, I casually say, "I'm running away." 

No one ever takes this seriously as they giggle and move on.
I have no idea why because I could really use a vacation, sans family, and often think of taking off to Disney World. (kinda like that nutty lady from Pa only she brought her kid.  I mean, come on, Amber Alert anyone!)

But, what I didn't figure on is that my kid would actually go through with it. 
Runaway.  Although not to Disney, but still......

We arrived home last night and just as we climbed out of the car the neighbor girl from two doors up was waiting to play.  I casually said "for a few minutes" and carried my things into the house leaving Thing 1 and the Runaway out front. 
I set my purse on the table, nodded a quick hello to the hubby and ran to the bathroom since I had an hour drive and needed to pee just as I pulled out of work. 
After finishing up and no more that a minute, all while hubby was sitting at the table watching the kids from the window, I opened the front door and called them in. 
Chachi began to walk up the driveway.
Stink did not. 

I called.
Nothing.
I called again.
Nothing.
I yelled for Dave to tell me where he was.
Nothing.

Just as I was about to run frantically around the neighborhood screaming at the top of my lungs, the neighbor Mom from two doors up calls down that Stink is there.

Apparently, he walked right into her house, grabbed a piece of ice out of her glass, and began to walk back out the door again! 
WHAT!?!? 

So, once again, I slinked home with my head hid in my sweater like those convicts on television from the court house to the prison van.  
And to think, hubby had him in his sight at all times. 
I am beginning to wonder if selective blindness is related to that hearing problem of his. 

Pee Pee

Just thought I would come right out and say it. 

Since I have a pile of it in my dining room at the moment. 

Two sets of sheets.  One comforter.  One blanket.  And a few pairs of underware.  

All waiting for the washer. 

But I don't have a working dryer at the moment.

At least not a working circuit breaker for the dryer.

Which means pee pee sits on the floor. 

Because it's raining out.

And I can't utilize my clothes line.

So they sit. 

And sit.

And sit. 

While Hubby and the Electrician go off to the Phillies game. 

This is no joke.

Hubby AND the Electrician.

Who is supposed to be here fixing the dryer.

Well, the circuit breaker that works the dryer. 

And I am here.

Smelling the Pee Pee. 

Lingering. 

Pee Pee.

Is it over?

The long weekend?  Is it finally over?

I can't believe those three days are gone.  So quick. 

Thankfully, we got just about everything we wanted accomplished, done.  Garden finished.  Pool open, although not completely clean.  But it will be after another 15 gallons of chlorine and a week of running the pump/filter.  And just in time for the cold weather.  Who'da thought. 

Caught up on laundry, and even hung a few loads out to dry on the line.  Saved myself a quarter. 

We even introduced a new pet to the flock.  Now, on top of the chihuahua, guinea pig and 4 chickens we have.......

....tadpoles! 

Not really sure what type of frogs we will end up with, but a good chance they may be of the Bull variety.  Big, large, warty kinds. 

Fun.  Fun. 

Holiday Weekend

What do you have planned?  Anyone going on vacation?  The beach?  

Any staycations?  Relaxing at home with a Long Island Ice Tea?  Maybe hit a local water park? 

Or are you a long weekend sucker like us and using the three days to catch up on life? 

Please tell me you fall under the last category so I can stop wallowing in self pity.  Just tell me you have a month's worth of house work to squeeze in three days.  That your children get lost in the grass in your backyard, so you put a bright hat on them just in case. That you have a large green cesspool in the middle of your lawn just waiting for chlorine and backbreaking scrubbing. 
Patio furniture needing cleaning. 
Green fuzzy moss growing on the outside of the house hosed off.
Laundry not only overflowing the hamper but making a run for it down the hallway. 
Bed linens washed.
Dog bathed.
And many others only I can't think of because my head exploded and I am typing with the last bit of electric jolt left in my body. 

So if you ARE going on vacation to relax on the beach and soak up the sun, don't tell me.  
Have fun!  But keep it to yourself.   My immediate family will thank you.  There's nothing worse than having that list to complete all while listening to me cry for three days.  What gets me through is knowing that others are having a sucky chor-iday too.

*FYI:  Hubby is not buying into no work on Memorial Day.  I told him that is what Labor day is reserved for, hence the name.  But he's not buying in. *

Explain this one

It's dinner time.  We served chicken, which is nothing new since we don't generally eat red meat as a family. 
I lovingly cut up the kids chicken into nice size child pieces and set the plate in front of them. 
Stink immediately digs in. 
Chachi stares.
Stink eats more
Chachi stares.
Stink shovels so much in that his mouth is full and food is beginning to fall out.
Chachi stares.

"Chachi.  Eat your dinner." I say.
"I'm not hungry."
"No.  Eat your dinner or no snack." I remind her.
"I'm not hungry." she answers and pushes her plate towards the middle of the table.
"Chachi.  I want you to eat some of your dinner."
"Mom.  I don't want to eat chicken anymore." she tells me.
"Why not?" I ask.
"I love animals, and I'm afraid that chicken is mine."
"Um.  Well.  Um.  It isn't." I stammered.
"I'm not eating chicken anymore.  Can you make me a ham and cheese sandwich?" 

What do I do now!  I don't have the heart to tell her that's pig on her sandwich.  Cute, cuddly, porky pig.  

Can a 4 year old really become a vegetarian?!

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

As we all know, or if you happen to eat over and find it in your food......Chachi has long hair.  Very long.  Past her butt, long. 
And after it's washed and dried, it is gorgeous.  (Mom, I know!  It needs trimmed!) 

Now last night, was wash and dry night.  When it was all said and done, Chachi came jumping onto my bed swinging that hair to and fro. 

"Mommy, look at my beautiful hair!" she exclaimed as she pulled each side over her shoulders, smoothing it out. 
"Oh yes.  So silky and smooth." I tell her. 
"Uh-huh.  I know.  Don't you wish your hair was beautiful too?"
"What?  What's wrong with my hair?" I questioned her now slightly annoyed at this little beauty sucking bugger.
"It's ugly." she stated, matter-of-factly. 
"I don't think so." I said sitting up quickly searching for the closest mirror, "Go ask Daddy if he thinks Mommy is beautiful." 

That'll teach her, I thought.  He knows better than to say no to that question.  Gotcha beauty queen.

As she ran off in his direction, I hurried and listened by the door just out of sight. 

"Daddy?" I heard Chachi say, "Aren't I beautiful?" 

That little booger. 

Chicks

The ladies have moved out.  Officially.  And I miss hearing their little chirping when the house is quiet in the evenings. 

They are growing up.  

Lots of thanks to my Dad, after many hours of begging, for building their new chick house.  Pics to come once I get a decent one. 

Here are the gals enjoying some green grass and sunny rays...

Now we wait.  For eggs.  Lots and lots of eggs.  

Zing Zang Zoom

We definitely needed a night out.

And like magic, I had an email waiting from Mom Central asking me to be a Team Activator for the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Baily Zing Zang Zoom Circus!  How cool was that!  It was like Santa heard my prayers for a fun filled, kid amusing evening, where I could sit my butt in a seat and let someone else entertain them. 

Unfortunately, we totally missed the meet and greet before hand where I would have met my fellow Philly Mom Bloggers, due to Philly traffic.  I have to give the hubby props here though as he got us down there, alive, in the fastest time ever.  Lucky for us, he knows just about ever short cut from here to there. 
I did catch up with Margie from Gunning It which was very cool. 

Now onto the circus. 

Zing Zang Zoom was completely awesome.  Stink was glued to his chair the entire time.  And I mean glued.  I even offered my lap for a better view which he instantly declined.  And Chachi fell head over heels in love with the horses. 
The were having such a blast that I almost asked the circus folks to take them, but you know, that wouldn't be right.  

Anyway, if you are in the Philly area between now and May 25th, totally check out the circus.   And if you use the coupon code, it definitely won't hurt the wallet.

To order 4 tix for just $44, visit http://www.comcasttix.com/ . Select performance and & enter code MOM in the Mom Central promotion box (Or you can call 1-800-298-4200). And if you want add'l tix, the price remains $11.
And the animal meet and greet and 1 hour pre-show is included in the price! 

Check it out! 

If an Elephant can sit, why can't my KIDS?
And try explaining to a 3 year old why HE can't ride an elephant.

They shot these two Moms out of this.....

And from what I hear, their kids are on tour with them. 
Which, I am guessing, is WHY they agreed to be shot out of THIS!

All in all, a great show.  Ringling Bros. & Barnum and Baily really know how to put on the Greatest Show on Earth!

Where you been?

All I can muster, as I type with two fingers, arms stiffly at my sides, is that I have a whole heckuva lot to update here. 

Yet, my entire body is in pain and I can barely turn my head. 

I think digging a giant garden, 12 hours later, will do that to a person.

I have never felt so old. 

And decrepit. 

Now, if you will excuse me.......

.....a very hot, steamy bath is awaiting me.  And I just may throw a tube of Icy Hot in for good measure.   

Tomorrow is another day.  Hopefully a day were my muscles won't scream in torturing pain. 

*what got me through the day?  laughing hysterically as I contemplate these!*

Conversations

Don't you just love conversations with your little ones! 

"Mommy?  I want to fly to Mexico."  Chachi said this morning in the car-ride to school.
"Why, Chachi?  What's in Mexico?"
"Unicorns!" she exclaimed, like it was a well known fact. 
"Sorry, Chach.  But the only thing flying in Mexico right now are pigs." 

She totally didn't get it. 

I swear.  Some of my best work is lost on the kids.