I Know...

....where all the people are. 

We went to our local mall this Saturday.  For the first time in a while.  A long while. 
If you have ever been to a mall and have seen children running wild, crawling under clothing racks and generally being a nuisance with mohawks....well, that's us.  The reason why we avoid it like the plague, or swine flu. 

Anyway, we walked into Macy's and were met by a table full of complimentary soft pretzels.
After handing each child, and myself, a pretzel we moved on to accomplish what we went there for.  A new suit for Dave, who waited until the last minute to shop, for a wedding we had to attend in less than 3 hours.  Seriously.  3 hours. 

While munching and walking towards the men's department, once again, we were met by a complimentary table of, this time, cookies.  Of course, each kid took a few, and we moved on.  Pretzels, cookies, munching onto the men's department, when I noticed that there was no one there.  A couple people over there, a few here, but practically no one.  It was a ghost town.  And offering free food to boot.  You would think if nothing else, a few homeless people would be wondering around with tattered shopping bags.  But not even that.   And we, ourselves, walked out empty-handed.  No way was I paying $79.00 for a dress shirt that he was guaranteed to spill his Jack and Coke on.  Uh-uh. 

Which lead us to Walmart.  Not for a dress shirt....I made him wear one he already owned in his closet....but for dog food the next day.  You know, priorities people. 
And THAT, my friends,  is where all the people are.  Lines 15 deep.  2 cart's full shoppers.  Aisles trashed. 
Good ole' Walmart.  Where the prices are slashed and you can get anything from frozen chicken nuggets to underware and everything inbetween at the same place.  You may have to park half a mile away and trudge through trash to get to it, but once inside it's like the holy land.  People without teeth, some dressed to the nines driving Hum-Vees, others wearing their pajamas and curlers.  But that's where its at.  The people.  Who needs mall prices, they chant, as they wait 4 hours to check out.  I think I actually saw a relationship go from first date to engagement as they reached the jewelry department from the front door. 
Where else does that type of spectacle happen.   

The point of the story is?  Malls are out, Walmart is way in.  Way in, people.  And don't worry about not having mall-rats to giggle at.....there is plenty of entertainment available at the hold grail of stores.  Believe me.  My stomach hurt by the time I left that place today.  Plus, if your car breaks down, you are legally allowed to camp in their parking lot.  What other place in the world offers that kind of service. 

Comments

[Rachel]

LMAO!!! This seems appropriate, I'm surprised Amber didn't post it, she asked me earlier if I had read this. You should get quite a few laughs here if you haven't already seen it: http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

[Amber Snipes]

LMAO!

[karen]

Our mall is usually full.....of teenagers. But no one buys anything. I don't know how those stores stay in business.