STINKY JOHN JONES

Explain this one

It's dinner time.  We served chicken, which is nothing new since we don't generally eat red meat as a family. 
I lovingly cut up the kids chicken into nice size child pieces and set the plate in front of them. 
Stink immediately digs in. 
Chachi stares.
Stink eats more
Chachi stares.
Stink shovels so much in that his mouth is full and food is beginning to fall out.
Chachi stares.

"Chachi.  Eat your dinner." I say.
"I'm not hungry."
"No.  Eat your dinner or no snack." I remind her.
"I'm not hungry." she answers and pushes her plate towards the middle of the table.
"Chachi.  I want you to eat some of your dinner."
"Mom.  I don't want to eat chicken anymore." she tells me.
"Why not?" I ask.
"I love animals, and I'm afraid that chicken is mine."
"Um.  Well.  Um.  It isn't." I stammered.
"I'm not eating chicken anymore.  Can you make me a ham and cheese sandwich?" 

What do I do now!  I don't have the heart to tell her that's pig on her sandwich.  Cute, cuddly, porky pig.  

Can a 4 year old really become a vegetarian?!

Did you know plumbers take off holidays too?

Who doesn't love a long weekend, hey?   

For the 4th, we had planned on having a few of our friend's over for some good food, drink and fireworks.  As early evening came our friends began to roll in towing kids galore behind.  I was sitting out back having a good time, watching the kids swim, when one of our friend's daughters came over to tell me that the carpet was wet by the front door.  I told her it was probably from the ice as I dismissed it.  But a 9 year old can be persistent as she said, "No really...it's A LOT of water."  Her father followed me in as I went to check it out.  I made it about half way when I realized she was totally right.  There was water everywhere, from the bathroom to the front door.  I yelled, most likely a profanity, and turned to see Big Daddy right behind me. 

"It's the water heater!" I screamed at him as I ran for the linen closet to grab some towels.  Big Daddy opened the door to the closet that contains the heater and a burst of steam escaped causing the windows in the house to fog up.  Lucky for us friends were streaming in as we had extra hands emptying the closet of it's wet contents.  Another grabbed the hose outside and began to drain the tank as we busily mopped up the water. 

The good of this story?   There was plenty of alcohol which made it easy to forget the fact that tomorrow we would  be hot water free.....adding up to cold showers.  So on that note, we decided that there wasn't much we could do on the 4th of July and continued to party!

During the above festivities....this is where you could find the boy!

After it was all said and done, Saturday brought us a new hot water heater.
My brother in law did a fantastic job getting it in and now, along with every other redneck family in America....we now have our old water heater out on the front porch.  Gotta love the decor that an old steel tank provides for one's home!

Needless to say I am heading back to work tomorrow for some much needed R&R~

Where's Emeril when you need him? Bam!

I never claimed to be a fantastic cook.  At times I may use the smoke detector as an oven timer.  But, we get by, so I must be able to whip up enough to sustain my family. 

That said.....when the stove catches on fire....it can definitely hinder the cooking skills, ya know.

What's for Dinner?

Have you ever opened the fridge asking, "What's for dinner?"  As I opened the fridge tonight to answer that question, I was surprised by what I found.  You be the judge.....

----------> not so inconspicuous, huh?