So, I stole that from Milk.....shoot me.
Now, lets talk about juice.
This may get slightly long-winded.....but its worth it at the end, believe me. If you have kids like mine, they too will be dancing the jig when they receive their "special" little package. So grab that glass of wine, or gin, and stay with me. Go ahead. It's noon somewhere.
I want to tell you a little ditty of a story that happened a couple years ago.
Since Chachi was about 9 months old, she has been involved with a playgroup. A group of six kids including her, three boys and three girls. Over the years, the kids (and Parents), have gone off to do other things, but the playgroup was a constant. We would get together about once a week and they had a ball.
So when Jayden was just under a year, I decided he too needed his own group of friends. Of course, he went along with Chachi but it still wasn't the same. Anyway, a couple of the other Mom's had "seconds" too and thought the "baby" group would be a big hit. After collecting a few others, we had our first playdate. I guess there were about 6 or 8 infants all together as we all sat in my living room and began discussing "Mommy" things as the babies played on the floor. Some were just rolling over, some crawling and others cruising along the furniture.
What I am trying to get at here is a particular part of the conversation that struck me as a bit.....well........nuts.
I gave Stink a sippy-cup.
And the room went silent.
Like I had broken some sort of cardinal rule or something.
"YOU let your son drink from a SIPPY-CUP?" Spock Mommy gasped as she held her infant. And I mean infant. Maybe 4-5 months old. And her first, I might add, as that will be pertinant to my story. You know the kind. She has read just about every child rearing book out there which in turn has created an "expert".
"Uh-huh. Why?" I said as Stink began to sip loudly with his cup turned up for all to see.
"WELL, for starters, he won't ever learn to drink from a regular cup! You are providing him with a crutch! He might as well be drinking from a bottle!"
"What?" I said, dumbfounded as I though, is this lady crazy?!
And if that wasn't bad enough, here comes my 3 year old with a sippy-cup of her own.
"OH! MY! GOD!" Spock Mommy grunted as if she were about to faint, "HOW OLD IS SHE?!"
"Um. Three." I answered.
It was then that I finally got a grip on the situation and thought........screw this and these crazy people. There is no way a playgroup is that important that I have to listen to this crap.
I sat up straighter and my mouth took off.
"Listen, lady. My kid may be 3 and drinking from a sippy cup, but I can assure you, she can ALSO drink from a regular glass. I just happen to COVET my floors." as my rant began to get louder because now I'm pissed. Who is this lady to judge me when she hasn't gotten a clue.
"I CAN'T WAIT for the day when your precious child is walking around with a GLASS! And I can almost guarantee you will be a closet sippy-cup user. Mark my words. Whatever BOOK told you that crappy advise is the first book you should throw in the trash when you get home."
At this point all eyes are on me, and as I looked around I realized why. Almost every one of these women were nuts. One never left the house since she couldn't figure out a way to leave her boob at home. Another only had black and white toys since color caused too much stimulation. And the gal to my left was already packing up, not because of me, but because it was getting too close to nap time and if Johnny wasn't in bed at exactly 11:25 am his schedule would be doomed forever.
And here I am, the Mom who defies all baby book laws. I might as well have been an alien as far as they were concerned. Needless to say, the group began to disban after that day. The "organics" developed their own little thing, and the rest of us "contraband" Moms were left in the dust.
Now, back to juice. See, I was trying to make a point. Sippy-cups. My kids have one glued to them at all times. And although they drink Milk, they still prefer juice. A lot of juice. So when I was delivered Welch's AquaJuice in the mail to review from MomSelect, we hit the jackpot.
I grabbed the kids cups. And yes, Chachi is 4.5 and STILL uses a sippy-cup. Stink too. They both CAN drink from a glass, and do at the table. But each carry a sippy with them at all times. When they are home that is. Never know when you will run into Spock Mommy.
I filled Chachi's first. She took a sip.
"Mommy?" she asked in that sweet little voice, "What kind of juice is this?"
"It's a new kind of Apple Juice." I told her.
"Well. It's nasty!" she informed me with one hand on the hip and the other holding out the cup to me.
Huh. It doesn't contain sugar. Well, not artificial sugar that is as I read the label. And since she enjoys bouncing off the walls almost 24 hours a day, I was sure that was the reason. She was pulling a power trip. She knew Mommy was screwing with her sugar intake and was on the war path.
Next was the Hubs. He poured a glass. Swirled it. Smelled it. And took a sip.
"It's not wine, you moron!" I yelled to him, "Just drink it!"
"Well. It smells like Apple Cider. Very appley. It tastes alright, but I can tell it's not the juice the kids normally drink." as he opened the refridgerator and pointed to the sugary stuff.
"Of course it's not! This is ACTUALLY HEALTHY!" as I pointed out that he wouldn't know what good juice was. Now if it was beer, well, I'm just saying.
"My only request?" he added, "Is for this to come in gallon size. The kids will finish this bottle by noon."
My next victim was the Stink. He drank. And drank. And drank. He drained the cup.
"Do you like it, Stink?" I questioned him.
"Yup!" he said, handed me his cup, and motioned for more.
"You can't go by him!" the hubs piped out, "That kid would drink mud if it was in his cup!"
Moving on. I really don't care what they think. Like they say, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. But leave that horse out in a hot field for two days and see him gulp it down.
And that's my motto. We will have no more sugary juices in our house. From now on. They will certainly get used to the taste. Or go thirsty. The end.
Now, its your turn! I am going to give one lucky reader their very own bottle of Welch's AquaJuice. And I expect a taste test. Report back here with your findings. For my very own amusement. Just wanna see if my kids are the only ones addicted to sugar. Stink will pick the winner Friday evening at 8pm EST.
